Mary Struthers 1933 - 2026
Mary on March 6th 2026
Video of Mary’s celebration of life service at The Langtoun Central Church, Kirkcaldy on 5th May
Eulogy
Born at 2 Strathmore Street in Kinghorn on 29th March 1933 to Thomas and Flora, Mary was the 5th child in a family of 6 children. She had older brothers John, Charlie, Graham, an older sister Kitty and a little brother Tommy. Mary was the last surviving sibling in her family.
Mary was only 13 when she had to leave school to help look after her family (especially her younger brother) as her mother was bedridden. Sadly, her mother died later the same year, Mary continued with her part in caring for the household and Tommy. This was in 1946, the year after WWII ended, times must have been hard, food was still rationed, and a little had to go a long way to feed a large family
As I child Mary went on holidays to a farm near Lochgelly, but she hated being away from her mother and father. If she knew it was that close to Kinghorn, she would've walked home!
Ten years later, when she was in her early 20’s, her father died. Mary was no stranger to grief.
Mary was part of a large extended family with many cousins locally as well as in the USA and Australia who visited her many times over the years.
All but one or two are still alive.
Mary had 17 nieces and nephews.
Mary was adventurous - as a young woman, she went on a trip to Paris which was quite a trip for her in the early fifties.
One of her first jobs was a bus conductor (a job she loved) but did not like the early/late shifts. Among many of the jobs she had, she worked at the Bottle Works in Kinghorn, Linoleum Factories in Kirkcaldy.
Mary met her future husband James Struthers through a close friend, and they courted for many years. Mary and James were married on April 2nd, 1960, in St Johns church. They also joined the church which became a place where they would make and meet many friends over the years.
They were blessed by the births of two sons; Mark was born on 4 May 1961, and their Nicolas was born in May the following year. Family life was hectic with two small children and Mary joined the Young Wives and Mothers group where she made lifelong friendships.
Family holidays with the boys were spent visiting friends and relatives in the UK and there was a memorable trip to Holland to visit her brother and family. After the family purchased a caravan, the stage was set for many roaming trips all over Scotland joining friends and family on the way. After the boys started to do their own thing, Mary and James explored Wales, Devon and Cornwall in the caravan.
Mary and James would make many more trips to Devon to visit Nicolas and Julie who moved there to work.
She continued to make an occasional trip to Holland to see her younger brother Tommy and her older brother Charlie took her on a day trip to Tuscany.
Having worked in part time jobs in places like the Kingswood hotel and Alma Bowling in Kirkcaldy, while the children were young, Mary took a full-time job. It was as a telecomsproduction assembler for AEI (who were bought by GEC) and worked there for over twenty years until she retired at 59.
In her retirement, as well as traveling and always being there to help her aging family members, she took up golf and was a regular swimmer at Kirkcaldy Pool.
A regular church goer all her life, Mary found her place in St John’s getting to know others through the Young Wives and Mothers Group. When St John's was burned down in 1975, like many of the congregation she worked so hard in the many fundraising events.
She was very engaged in fundraising and volunteered at many events, and she was always on hand to help out. Mary was an active and committed member of the Guild, she supported the Sunday school, and the prayer groups.
Mary was one of the first woman elders in the church, ordained and admitted to St John's Kirk Session on 8th October 1978. Mary was presented with her Long Service Certificate for 30 years’ service as an Elder in 2008. Nicolas found a letter from the Session Clerk, at that time, Bill Stenhouse which was very warm in thanking Mary for her exemplary service and support, including visiting members of the congregation in her own district and in other districts, when required.
When Nicolas and Julie moved to California in 1995, Mary then joined the jet set traveling to California many times to visit.
Most notably Mary and James celebrated their Golden Anniversary in The Golden State, and she made her last solo trip there when she was in her 90th year.
Sadly after 53 years of marriage, James died aged 89 on 20 June 2013. Tragedy struck in May 2020, during Covid, when her son Mark died. Mary was hit with a terrible grief the no parent ever wants to face, the pain of losing a child. These were the toughest of times for Mary, but she found strength to keep going with the support of her family, her neighbours and friends.
Fellow Horner, Senga, remembers that Mary always kept up with all the Kinghorn news and even told her what was going even although Senga lived there. Mary enjoyed reminiscing about Kinghorn and what it was like in days gone by, and she knew many stories about a lot of people going back generations.
I am told that Mary was not someone to mince her words, especially if she did not approve of something that was happening. If she didn’t agree with what was happening in Kinghorn, she soon told the people on the community council what she thought.
Although she was a straight talker, Mary was always a very king person, supportive and patient. Mary has been described as a walking smile, kind and caring by Ken, for her support to Carol and she is remembered for her commitment as a volunteer at the Olive branch café, where she was kind and patient with members of the team and customers alike.
Mary was totally taken by surprise when the café volunteers organised a surprise presentation of a 90th birthday cake for Mary at the Olive Branch cafe on 30th March 2023.
I am told that the look on her face was priceless!
Mary had a beautiful singing voice, she was a member of the Bennochy Community Choir for many years, she was a valued part of the team which went into Abbeyfield, Marchmont and Bennochy Lodge for Sunday afternoon services. Her singing voice was muchappreciated.
Mary loved to socialize, sing and dance and the lunch club, choir and the Scottish country dancing were real passions for her well into her 90s.
Mary lived a long life, and she made a positive difference to the lives of countless other people. She was a mother, mother-in-law, aunt, good friend to many, and she will not be forgotten.
Photos of Mary’s Life
Thank You
Nicolas and Julie would like to thank everyone for the kind messages, cards and flowers.
Thank you to Eileen and the Langtoun Central Church for hosting the service.
Message from her son Nicolas
I was with my mother when she first received the melanoma prognosis from the dermatologist at Victoria Hospital, she was quick to tell me that she would be OK with whatever transpired and I was not to worry about her. She was actually consoling me!
That just exemplified her strong faith and resilience, more worried about others than herself.
She was insistent that any service would not be a somber affair and it was her wish for everyone to celebrate her departure, after all she would be already be reunited in heaven with many of her family and friends.
A week later after another hospital appointment in Dunfermline, we stopped at Aberdour Sands Cafe for a bite to eat. She picked her favourite Macaroni Cheese but I pointed out to her that it would not be available until 12pm but I would see what I can do. I went up and had no problem ordering her choice. When I came back from making the order she asked me if I was able to make the order. I said that they said no but I told them my mother was 92 and had stage 4 cancer so they agreed to make an exception. She just laughed that infectious laugh.
We are all going to miss so much her joy and sense of humour
My mum was born in her family home at 2 Strathmore Street in Kinghorn, a true Horner. Growing up there surrounded by close family and friends Kinghorn always had a special place in her heart. My mum was only 13 when her mother died and effectively ran the family home for her father and looked after her younger brother. Losing her beloved father at 22 tested her love of god yet her resilience and faith helped her find a way to go on with life again.
In comparison, I feel so privileged and fortunate to have had my mother in my life for such a long time.
Telling stories of growing up, she loved to practice dancing with her best friend in her hallway, did you play records? I asked, no we just sang to each other was the reply. Her love of singing and dancing (something I assure you she did not pass on to me) continued all her life. As a young woman, she loved to go to ballrooms in Kirkcaldy, supported the Fife Flyers and famously fainted in the crowd at Hampden while watching Raith Rovers in the Scottish Cup semi Final.
Throughout her life my mum was instrumental in getting the family together, keeping in touch with her distant cousins first through letter writing, then FaceTime and where possible hosting them on their trips back to the homeland.
On the Mastermind Quiz Program which she enjoyed, her specialist subjects would be anything and everything about Kinghorn and the birthdays of her family and friends, she had an encyclopaedic knowledge of that.
Although living in Kirkcaldy, she was always returning to Kinghorn, taking us to the beach or spending time with family, she especially liked her Thursday Ladies night out with her family and friends sharing what was going on. Not to mention those legendary Hogmanay Parties which went on to 6 in the morning. The church and community were always a passion for my mother. As an elder, connecting with the congregation came naturally to her. She showed her courage and commitment by stepping well outside her comfort zone and regularly standing right here in front of the large St John's congregation reading the Sunday intimations. Sponsored walks, christian aid, sales and events, my mum always stepped forward to volunteer with willing energy.
As a competent driver, she became the de facto taxi service to so many of her friends, running them to and from the various church events and social outings. It was never a bother to Mary. Braids taxi's must've seen an upturn in business when she decided to stop driving a year before her 90th birthday.
The story I like to remember is when she was in her mid 80s, she turned up at Blacketyside for lunch with her two friends who were well into their 90s. When she went in to get a table for lunch she was told there would be a long wait so my mother told them that was not good enough as she had two elderly ladies waiting in her car. Needless to say they were given the next table.
My mum was too humble and polite to ask anything for herself but did not think twice when advocating for someone else.
Over the last few years my mothers memory loss was having a greater impact and we are grateful to her friends in the community for helping her continue her social activities with the church.
The lockdown was such a difficult time for so many people, with her eldest son Mark passing away, it was a particularly horrible time for her. Despite twice daily FaceTime Calls, the 5,000 miles to California seemed like a chasm and I will be eternally grateful to her next door neighbour, Paul and all her friends at this church for being there for her.
I want to especially thank her niece Alison and Mark's good friend Rab for looking out for her not just then but in the years to come.
As the restrictions eased, the church, the lunch club, choir and country dancing continued to be such a vital part of her life.
I've lost count the number of times my mother visited us in California but she must have racked up over 200,000 air miles.
I'll never forget her face on our first cable car ride in San Francisco, her smile beaming from ear to ear, the first time she put her toes in the Pacific at Monterey (IT'S COLD) or the walks along the shores of Lake Tahoe. She won the hearts of all our friends, always joining us for coffee after our bike rides many of whom she would greet when they stayed at Providence House in Kinghorn. Not only did she walk over the Golden Gate Bridge but she flew over it, the look on her face when my pilot friend requested her to alert him of any air traffic.
She did so much over the years, Yosemite, 18 holes at Santa Clara Golf and Tennis Club, San Jose Sharks Ice Hockey, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara the list goes on. We celebrated her golden wedding anniversary on the Napa Wine Train and later at our home in Los Gatos with all our friends who were honoured to be there with her. Anyone who knew my father will realise that the 50 years not only demonstrated my mothers love but also her resilience.
In May of 2011, myself and Julie were lucky enough to acquire Providence House, a flat on the beach front in Kinghorn. My mum could not help herself by telling us we paid far too much for it and we could get a house elsewhere for the same money. It very quickly became a special place for all of us, connecting my mother once again to Kinghorn and the friends and family that were able to stay there. We regularly use to tease her by asking her if she still thought we paid too much and forcing the response that "it was worth every penny." The memories we built there will continue to be a comfort to us in the years ahead.
As many people already know, the final days of a loved one's life is such a difficult time, through all of this my mother kept apologising and did not want to be a bother.
Mum, it was an honour and a privilege to be with you and care for you.
It somehow just seems right that Mary spent her last days in the town she loved and was laid to rest by Kinghorn Loch earlier today.
